If everything I watched on TV sunk in, I would be a best dressed master chef who could spot a deal at a mile away. ~ bwd

National Coffee Week!

Twas the first Monday of autumn, when all through the house
Not a creature wanted to get up, not even the dog (we don't have any mice)
The clock alarms were set to wake us up with a start
In hopes that we could get the last pop-tart (hey, it rhymes)

The morning came early, they do that you know
The sun shone bright in every window (actually, its a rather gray day but go with it)
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But an email telling me it's National Coffee Week, now my favorite week of the year!

I sprang from the couch, to get that first cup,
And to the Keurig I trotted like a new pup (yeah, right. haven't had my coffee yet)
You may hear me exclaim, yes, you may even hear me say,
"Happy Coffee Week to all and to all a good day!!"
~ bwd

Do you think they'll change the old adage "a watched pot never boils" to "a watched Facebook never produces posts"? ~ bethany durys

My fortune cookie says, "You will soon be surrounded by good friends and laughter." I'm not so sure they are good friends if they are laughing at me! ~ bwdurys

People who like to hear the pitter patter of little feet in the house should get a dog. You get twice the number of feet for half the number of mouths to feed! ~ bwd

Evidently there was a sticker on the pear that I just tossed into my smoothie. I don't think this is what they meant when they talk about foods that "stick to your ribs." ~ bwd

I really think my dog and cats have an agreement when it comes to anything food-related. The cat who was "getting a drink out of the fish tank" evidently knocked the fish food on the floor. The dog took the fish food outside and now the can is empty. Guess the fish didn't pay their union dues - now they'll be swimming with the fishes. Oh wait! They're fish! So, cement shoes for them? Oh wait! They have no feet! Maybe they've learned their lesson. The punishment is mine - to the pet store I go.
~ bwd

Morning: That time when you're reminded you're not 21 any more. You wake up without an alarm clock. You tell yourself you just have to make it to the coffee pot. On the way, you take some ibuprofen. You're the one who feeds the dog and once you have, you can't remember if you started the coffee or not. You sit down just in time to hear the alarm clock go off because you forgot to turn it off when you got up before it went off and you realize your cup of coffee is still on the counter.

~ bwd

They say you get shorter as you get older but I think I'm getting taller cuz the older I get, the farther away the floor seems when I have to reach it. ~ bwd

Please note that on January 7 at 9:55am, I quit. Just saying it now so that if at any point in the future, you think I was supposed to do something and I didn't, I can tell you that was what I quit. ~ bwd